What is Swinging ?

 

 

Swinging is a form of recreational social sex between consenting adults, most commonly consisting of male/female couples meeting other male/female couples for sex and/or ongoing intimate friendships.

Swinging, otherwise known as the lifestyle can take a variety of different forms. Although single women are generally welcome at swinging events, the degree to which single men are accepted varies from club to club. Although female bisexuality is generally accepted in the swinging community, the degree to which male bisexuality is accepted also varies from club to club. Swing clubs can be "on-premises" (which means that one may interact sexually with others at that event) or "off-premises" (which means that one would generally go back to the home or hotel room of other couples for sex, after deciding to do so at the event). Newspapers and magazines which carry personal ads for swingers also exist, and to a slightly lesser degree these publications may also be considered an aspect of "the lifestyle." Swingers have traditionally been largely middle class and tend to blend in quite easily with the general population in terms of appearance and ideology.

 

Swinging Clubs

The swinger lifestyle usually begins with meeting other swingers at a club that is specifically organized for this purpose. Although single women are generally welcome at swinging events, the degree to which single men are accepted varies from club to club. Although female bisexuality is generally accepted in the swinging community, the degree to which male bisexuality is accepted also varies from club to club. Swing clubs can be "on-premises" (interacting sexually with others at that event) or "off-premises" (going back to the home or hotel room of other couples for sex, after deciding to do so at the event). Newspapers and magazines which carry personal ads for swingers also exist. To a slightly lesser degree, these publications may also be considered an aspect of "the lifestyle." Traditionally, swingers have been largely middle class and tend to blend in quite easily with the general population in terms of appearance and ideology.

Although this may vary slightly from club to club, in general the swinging community is quite accepting of a variety of body types, sizes, ages, and shapes. Additionally, many on-premises events provide an opportunity to dress sexy or go completely nude, which can be a fun and sensual experience in and of itself.

 

Swinging Facts

People may be attracted to the swinging community for a variety of reasons. Many couples find the thought of having sex with other people to be very attractive and sensual. As a result, they find that swinging is a catalyst for enhancing their own sex lives and primary relationships. Some people may feel stifled by repressive societal attitudes towards sexuality.

Consequently, they may welcome the opportunity to form friendships and a new social network with people of like mind. Others may simply feel that sex should be a natural possibility in any friendship in which there is mutual attraction and, as a result, appreciate the relative open-mindedness and pleasure experienced as a part of the swinging community.

Although the swinging community is unfortunately not always the best place for men identified as heterosexuals to explore their potential bisexuality, it is a relatively good place for women to initially explore their sexuality with other women as this sometimes plays a role in couples choosing to seek it out in the first place.

If you are uncomfortable with people being sexually attracted to you and/or flirting with you, then you might be uncomfortable at swinging events. Similarly, if your relationship with your partner is on shaky ground, you might find seeing him or her flirt or be flirted with to be an uncomfortable experience. If either of you have hidden agendas concerning finding a permanent replacement for each other, you're probably in for a major emotional disaster. Furthermore, if you and your partner cannot communicate directly about relationships and sex, swinging might only complicate your problems all the more. In general, sex can provoke strong feelings along with its many pleasures. Therefore, if you aren't comfortable dealing with emotions, then perhaps it might be better to wait a little while before exploring "the lifestyle."

 

Swinging Rules

In the context of swinging, couples need not be married. However, they should have at least a little history together and familiarity with each others' emotional needs. This will be important when it comes to being comfortable approaching other couples. The general rule of thumb is that swinging works best when couples view swinging as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship, rather than as a replacement for a failing one.

As one would expect, good communication is critical in any attempt at swinging. There are many different forms that swinging may take. Whichever one you choose is fine as long as you and your partner are clear about what you are doing and why. Sex is a powerful part of human experience and the pleasures that may be found in swinging can generally be reached only when both partners are sensitive to each others' needs. Each must put their partner's confidence and comfort first. From a more pragmatic point of view, there will always be another party, another personal ad, another dance, or another convention. There may not be another chance to salvage an exploration into swinging if one partner becomes overwhelmed with it and forgets to treat his or her primary partner with sensitivity and respect.

It's important to keep in mind that swinging is primarily a social activity. The ordinary social customs of meeting people and initiating a conversation are really not that different than at any other type of social interaction. The process by which acquaintances become close friends is not that different either. The key social traits that tend to be appreciated in the swinging community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability with regard to one's primary relationship.

There are several different styles of swinging which you may see in the swinging community

• Closed Swinging: Some people may prefer not to be around when their partner is having sex with someone else.
• Open Swinging: Others may insist on being with their partner when experiencing sex with others.
• Soft swinging: Refers to trading partners just for the purposes of heavy petting and then switching back to one's primary partner for any actual sex.

It might be valuable for you to think about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be more or less comfortable in and then discuss these with your partner.

The pros and cons of whether or not you and your mate are compatible with the swinging lifestyle or even interested in it are many. Whatever you do, be sure that both of you are committed to it before ever trying it out.